Past life connections & wounded masculinity

“Look around, see all the abundance around you. Feel the abundance of sunlight on your skin, never lacking and never withheld. Sure, some days you can’t feel it as clearly, but it’s always there. Look at the abundance of leaves on the trees. None are withheld, none saved for “later”. The tree gives freely, because it knows it is abundant. It knows that these leaves may fall away and die, but in the spring it will be blessed with an abundance of blossoms once again. It never doubts, it simply trusts the bounty that nature provides, which is the law of this reality. Any loss or limitation are illusions you picked up yourself, through your parts, or what others have told you.”

This message came to me from my Divine self when I needed it. My inner masculine was feeling completely terrified, anxious and powerless with the coming change and transition in my life moving to NYC. I felt this through different metasoul (past life) aspects I’ve been working with a lot this week, all masculine energies with different complexes surrounding abundance and pursuing their dreams. These aspects felt so paralyzed with fear, stuck in a reality they weren’t happy in, and generally feeling powerless against an uncaring world. 

The masculine energy has seemed to dominate most of life up until recently. It often felt like the masculine inside me was wielding power over the feminine, holding her hostage or suppressing her. It may have been that way because my inner protector felt that he needed to keep the more vulnerable, feminine parts of me safe from the outside world and the toxic environments I was stuck in. That is a valid reaction that I’m so grateful for, but now I’m asking my inner protector to let go a little bit. My inner protector has been so anxious about moving to New York, with the questions of employment, paying rent, a pandemic, and so much more. For a few days I felt completely trapped in that box of fear, but it took some strong searching, listening, and compassion to bring these parts to light and listen to them. 

The way that I like to do this is through journaling and asking questions. Sometimes I can write down questions for the parts of me that are hurting, and write responses back and forth. I read in a book once that asking “why” 7 times brings you to the core of an issue. So I use that exercise on my limiting beliefs, asking them why seven times, until we reach the core wound.

here is an example of a metasoul aspect I met recently, who’s a man on a farm in Ukraine named Konstantin. He gave up on his dreams of being a musician before he began, and ended up staying in the small town he grew up in his entire life. Because of denying and suppressing his true purpose, he became angry and abusive to his family and fell into alcoholism.

Konstantin, why didn’t you go?

I was scared

And what was the cost of staying?

I lost who I was. I lost my connection to my softness I guess. I lost my sensitivity, my sweet voice, that drew in my wife. I lost my innocence and openness, my sense of adventure and this expansive feeling that made me feel like everything was possible. 

Do you have that back now?

I’m starting to feel it again. For so long I even forgot what it was that I was missing.

How did you forget?

By going deeper into the everyday. Taking care of the farm, working hard every day. I got sadder and angrier with where I was, until I forgot who I was before I was angry because anger took over my life.

Why were you angry?

Because I wasn’t given the chance to express my gifts and give what I had to offer the world

Why weren’t you given the chance?

Because I didn’t try to get the chance

Why didn’t you try?

Because I was scared

Why were you scared?

I didn’t want to fail and embarrass myself and come home a failure

Why didn’t you want to come home as a failure?

Because it would be easier to just not try at all

Why is that easier?

It’s not. It’s harder. It hurt me every single moment of every day and I was constantly filled with shame and guilt. I felt like a failure anyway. I failed before I even started. 


I also bridge to my parts and metasoul aspects in meditation, where they show me pictures and tell me the stories of their lives so I can experience them. 

The wounded masculine exists within each one of us, in many lifetimes, iterations and expressions. Sometimes bridging to those more “shadowy” aspects of ourselves, the ones who were involved in hurting, controlling and degrading others can be a bit scary and horrific. We don’t want to believe that we could have that in our souls, but we do. It’s inevitable. We’ve all played this human drama so many times, we’ve been the oppressor and the oppressed, all roles that our soul chose for a learning purpose. Feeling into those roles can bring more compassion into our lives. We could perhaps see the world as less of a polarized good/evil place, but simply a cosmic drama where each soul is playing a part that is no more worthy than the other. In our essence we are all the same divine stuff.  

The self-hate that we can sometimes feel, the guilt, the shame that we don’t understand the connection to, strange reactions that seem to come out of nowhere, these could be metasoul aspects trying to get in touch with you. Particularly now as the veil grows thinner, and more and more high vibrational energy is being beamed onto Earth, I’m feeling timeline bleed throughs very often and sometimes totally randomly. Last week I remember being in the car, and feeling a timeline come through very strongly and vividly. It was not a pleasant one as well. I simply did what I could, breathed, bridged to that part, felt the pain that she needed me to feel, and acknowledged her. In meditation I can usually bring high dimensional guides with me to bridge and heal the aspect and bring them back to my high-vibe mind palace (I’ll explain more on that later on lol). 

If this resonates and you want to learn more about ascension, star family and past lives, subscribe to my YouTube channel! I’m releasing a new video tomorrow xoxo

Here is the one I released last week talking more about the metasoul, past lives and star family!


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