Loving

I have to love myself

even when I’m paralyzed,

frightened of the dark

I cradle myself softly

whisper “you’re okay,

you’re safe. I love you.”

I have to love myself

even when I don’t complete

all the tasks on my to do list

Feeling like a failure

staring at the wall,

too scared to start, too late to finish

I have to offer forgiveness,

face towards the peace that tomorrow brings

“everything will get done

in due time.”

I have to love myself

on the first step

of every new adventure

when my mind screams “turn back!”

and my heart yearns

for everything familiar.

I have to love myself

when I’m terrified, uncomfortable

and aching with expansion.

I never recognize

the girl in the mirror

I just feel her heart in my chest

the steady beating rhythm

my arms wrapped tight around her.