Severed

Teach me to forget you –
Spit in my face
And I will see tender kisses.
Leave me behind
And I will see love –
The kind of love I deserve.
Let me see you –
As you are.
Dirty.
I am yours –
Your toy, your object
Tucked away and waiting
To be called.

Love me in the wrong way
And I will ache for you.
Throw salt with a drop of sugar
And the hint of sweetness
Will be the only taste
That lingers.

The devil lives here.
In the bone structure
Of beautiful, terrible things.
Enchanting, confusing
Dangerous dreams.
Rose colored glasses
Without which I can’t see.

In the pattern and chase,
Call and response
Old wounds being touched
With hands not loving –
But rough.
I pick at scabs till they bleed.
I think it’s you –
But it’s me I need.

I am lucky because I am free.
Your absence is too holy.
Shivers run down my spine
When I think of what could’ve been.
I am lucky to finally see
Everything that has hurt me.
Love that is not pure, but dirty.
The love that I really need
Is the love that I give to me.